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Wednesday 30 September 2015

पागल


खोजता रहा
दिन रात पागल
सुक़ून कहाँ 

33 comments:

  1. :) ji sir ji.. issi sakoon ke chakkar main saari zindagi guzar jaati hai ...


    Bikram's

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    1. ...suntey hain ki marney ke baad bhi nahi miltaa:) No regrets then;)
      Thank you Bikram sir:)

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    2. no regrets sir definitely ... :)

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  2. यहां-वहां के बजाय अपने अंदर ढूंढते :) मिल जाता। वैसे भी दुनिया में सबका हाल बेहाल है और सवारी अपने समान की खुद जिम्मेदार है :) :P

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    1. Samaan ki toh zimmedaar hai, par samaan hi ko toh khoj rahi hai sawaari:);)
      Thank you Manisha:)

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  3. Reminds me of Mullah Naseeruddin's quirky stories....peace is where we are yet so difficult to locate!! The haiku should have ended with either an exclamation or a question mark though I suppose going strictly as per stringent technicalities haikus are exclusive of punctuations...however to underscore the emotion, sometimes such innovations are necessitated ....what say you, sir?

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  4. I so wholeheartedly agree with you, Geetashree:) but please consider these too:
    खोजता रहा
    दिन, रात पागल,
    सुक़ून कहाँ

    खोजता रहा
    दिन रात, पागल
    सुक़ून, कहाँ

    खोजता रहा
    दिन रात, पागल,
    सुक़ून कहाँ

    So, there are endless possibilities without punctuation...why limit them?
    Thank you for your interest:)

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  5. What about this one

    खोजता रहा
    दिन-रात, पागल!
    सुकून कहाँ ?

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    1. This one is the real and basic thought behind the haiku, all others offered by me are only variants of nuances:)

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  6. No, not limiting; only expanding....

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    1. Yes, expansion is always welcome, and it makes an integral part of haiku...or any poetry for that matter:) I thank you once again Geetashree ma'am, that your wonderful comment evoked a great discussion and positively helped this haiku to evolve; but for your observation the other variants would never have surfaced...am grateful:) Please keep it up:)

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  7. khojte,khojte,the journey suddenly comes to an end!

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  8. ये तो है !! सार्थक हाइकु

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  9. Lovely - and the variants were an additional bonus.

    One comment echoed my own reaction and reminded me of the song "Paas ho tum khade; mere dil mein chupe; aur mujhe kuch pata naa chalaa" :)

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    1. Absolutely right Suresh..the song is true..tabhi toh khojne waale ko paagal kahaa hai;)
      Thank you bro:)

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  10. Wow!
    Such simple lines that run so deep. Beautiful thoughts, Amit.
    Have a great week. :)

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  11. Hmm... what a situation!
    Well expressed!

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  12. Khoob kahi Amitji. Agar sukun mil hi gaya, toh phir sab kya khojenge?...Isi darr se shayad kuda ne sukun kam baanta.

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  13. Sorry khuda ..typo in the previous comment.

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    1. :) never mind, 'khuda' typo ko transcend karta hai:):)

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