Reminds me of Mullah Naseeruddin's quirky stories....peace is where we are yet so difficult to locate!! The haiku should have ended with either an exclamation or a question mark though I suppose going strictly as per stringent technicalities haikus are exclusive of punctuations...however to underscore the emotion, sometimes such innovations are necessitated ....what say you, sir?
Yes, expansion is always welcome, and it makes an integral part of haiku...or any poetry for that matter:) I thank you once again Geetashree ma'am, that your wonderful comment evoked a great discussion and positively helped this haiku to evolve; but for your observation the other variants would never have surfaced...am grateful:) Please keep it up:)
:) ji sir ji.. issi sakoon ke chakkar main saari zindagi guzar jaati hai ...
ReplyDeleteBikram's
...suntey hain ki marney ke baad bhi nahi miltaa:) No regrets then;)
DeleteThank you Bikram sir:)
no regrets sir definitely ... :)
Deleteयहां-वहां के बजाय अपने अंदर ढूंढते :) मिल जाता। वैसे भी दुनिया में सबका हाल बेहाल है और सवारी अपने समान की खुद जिम्मेदार है :) :P
ReplyDeleteSamaan ki toh zimmedaar hai, par samaan hi ko toh khoj rahi hai sawaari:);)
DeleteThank you Manisha:)
Reminds me of Mullah Naseeruddin's quirky stories....peace is where we are yet so difficult to locate!! The haiku should have ended with either an exclamation or a question mark though I suppose going strictly as per stringent technicalities haikus are exclusive of punctuations...however to underscore the emotion, sometimes such innovations are necessitated ....what say you, sir?
ReplyDeleteI so wholeheartedly agree with you, Geetashree:) but please consider these too:
ReplyDeleteखोजता रहा
दिन, रात पागल,
सुक़ून कहाँ
खोजता रहा
दिन रात, पागल
सुक़ून, कहाँ
खोजता रहा
दिन रात, पागल,
सुक़ून कहाँ
So, there are endless possibilities without punctuation...why limit them?
Thank you for your interest:)
What about this one
ReplyDeleteखोजता रहा
दिन-रात, पागल!
सुकून कहाँ ?
This one is the real and basic thought behind the haiku, all others offered by me are only variants of nuances:)
DeleteNo, not limiting; only expanding....
ReplyDeleteYes, expansion is always welcome, and it makes an integral part of haiku...or any poetry for that matter:) I thank you once again Geetashree ma'am, that your wonderful comment evoked a great discussion and positively helped this haiku to evolve; but for your observation the other variants would never have surfaced...am grateful:) Please keep it up:)
Deletekhojte,khojte,the journey suddenly comes to an end!
ReplyDeleteTrue! Thank you Uppal ma'am:)
Deleteये तो है !! सार्थक हाइकु
ReplyDeleteThank you Yogendra:)
Deletelovely!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Archana:)
DeleteLovely - and the variants were an additional bonus.
ReplyDeleteOne comment echoed my own reaction and reminded me of the song "Paas ho tum khade; mere dil mein chupe; aur mujhe kuch pata naa chalaa" :)
Absolutely right Suresh..the song is true..tabhi toh khojne waale ko paagal kahaa hai;)
DeleteThank you bro:)
So thought provoking!
ReplyDeleteThank you Purba:)
DeleteWow!
ReplyDeleteSuch simple lines that run so deep. Beautiful thoughts, Amit.
Have a great week. :)
Thank you Divya:) You too!
Deleteबहुत सुंदर .
ReplyDeleteनई पोस्ट : दास्तां सुनाता है मुझे
Thank you Rajeev:)
DeleteHmm... what a situation!
ReplyDeleteWell expressed!
Thank you Indrani:)
Deleteबहुत खूब !
ReplyDeleteThank you Rakesh:)
DeleteKhoob kahi Amitji. Agar sukun mil hi gaya, toh phir sab kya khojenge?...Isi darr se shayad kuda ne sukun kam baanta.
ReplyDeleteAap theek kahti hain, Somali:) Thank you:)
DeleteSorry khuda ..typo in the previous comment.
ReplyDelete:) never mind, 'khuda' typo ko transcend karta hai:):)
Delete