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Thursday, 9 July 2015

ताँका: प्रेमपाश


पीपल तले
प्रेमपाश में बँधे
सोये अलस
अँधेरा व चाँदनी
सवेरा न हो कभी

“Tanka” is a Japanese verse style consisting of 31 syllables in 5 lines, with 5 syllables in the first and third lines and 7 in the others. (5-7-5-7-7)

                                                                                                      Image from Google
 Ttranslation (by GC)

Beneath the shade
In love embrace laze
Moonshine and Darkness
May never upon them gaze
Dawn's chiffon rays

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34 comments:

  1. Kokila gupta9 July 2015 at 23:21

    lusture and murk ..... Beautiful ...hamesha ki tarah :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amit Agarwal9 July 2015 at 23:51

      'lusture and murk' is for non Hindi speaking friends:) Aap toh Hindi mein paarangat hain, Kokila:)
      Never mind I assume that you found the original one up to the mark:) Thank you:)

      Delete
  2. Uppal9 July 2015 at 23:34

    No less than a dreamy scene!

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    Replies
    1. Amit Agarwal9 July 2015 at 23:55

      So I have been able to replicate the dreaminess...thank you Uppal ma'am:)

      Delete
  3. Unknown10 July 2015 at 01:16

    A romantic verse here. Is a tanka always written on the theme of romance or can it be on any theme?

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    Replies
    1. AmitAag10 July 2015 at 09:02

      I don't think it is a limitation!
      I'm not an authority on the subject, Somali, needs to be checked with a proper souce...

      Delete
  4. Saru Singhal10 July 2015 at 04:19

    Such depth in those five lines. You are a master, Sir. Loved it.

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    Replies
    1. AmitAag10 July 2015 at 08:55

      I'm delighted Saru, by your attestation:)
      Kindly do not call me a master... it is embarrassing!
      I value your appreciation and thank you for your kindness:)
      You're one of my oldest readers, hence precious indeed:):)

      Delete
  5. M S Mahawar10 July 2015 at 05:24

    very beautiful!

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  6. C Suresh10 July 2015 at 07:30

    Wow! (Can't help it, though - incarnate torpidity reminded me of myself :) )

    Btw, Amit, it should be lustre in the English translation, I think.

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    Replies
    1. AmitAag10 July 2015 at 08:48

      :):) @ "incarnate torpidity reminded me of myself :) )"
      Rectified Suresh! Thanks a lot:)

      Delete
  7. magiceye10 July 2015 at 08:26

    Wah!! Loved this!!

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  8. Ravish Mani10 July 2015 at 12:32

    Aapne to mahaul Rumaani kar diya, Amit. Bahut khub :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amit Agarwal10 July 2015 at 22:12

      Loved your calling it 'रूमानी माहौल' ..
      Pinnacle of romance! no?
      Thank you Ravish:)

      Delete
  9. Purba chakraborty10 July 2015 at 13:39

    Beautiful and mesmerizing!

    ReplyDelete
  10. D.Nambiar10 July 2015 at 19:36

    Rich thinking!
    And you are so good at working with both languages!
    Wow, Amit. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. i b arora10 July 2015 at 22:21

    सुंदर

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  12. Unknown11 July 2015 at 03:37

    Beautiful tale of two lovers....very romantic Amit Ji :)

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  13. Alok singhal11 July 2015 at 12:09

    Superb, i just love your hindi short-works.

    ReplyDelete
  14. rupam sarma11 July 2015 at 19:59

    Beautiful

    ReplyDelete
  15. दिगम्बर नासवा12 July 2015 at 03:13

    वाह ... लाजवाब तांका ...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Indrani12 July 2015 at 07:34

    Yet another wonderful expression from you!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Manisha Sharma9 July 2016 at 01:01

    बहुत खूब, शानदार...
    ये एक प्यार का नगमा है :) और एक सच्ची कहानी है :) :)

    ReplyDelete

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