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Sunday, 22 January 2017

अस्पताल में एक रात

Image from Google

फफूँद लगी, फटी बोरी से
घुने, सीले अनाज की मानिंद
टपकती है रात
टिन-शेड पर
थमती है, बीतती
सोने देती.

साँय-साँय करता दमा
अस्थि-पंजर में
सूखे-सलेटी स्तनों पर
स्याह-सफ़ेद
धुएँ की लकीरें
बनती-मिटतीं..

रुको, ठहरो, देखो तो ज़रा
CCU के मद्धम प्रकाश में
नर्स और वॉर्डबॉय
आलिंगनबद्ध!
नाराज़ मत होओ, ख़ामोश गुज़र जाओ
'ज़िन्दगी' होने दो.

38 comments:

  1. tough times ....an amazing description of tough times.

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    1. Glad you liked, Shweta:) Thank you:)

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  2. कितना गहरा कटाक्ष ... बीमार पीले कमरों में दबी अनकही दास्ताँ ...
    बहुत खूब ...

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    1. कटाक्ष पसन्द करने के लिए धन्यवाद दिगम्बर जी:)

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  3. थकी-हारी जिंदगी कितनी बेबस हो जाती है,बस बयां करने के लिए रह जाती है.

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    1. मेरी अधिकांश कविताओं की तरह ये रचना भी मेरा स्वयं का भुगता हुआ यथार्थ है.. एक बेहतरीन मल्टी-स्पेशियलिटी अस्पताल में ये सब देख कर कोई बेबस तीमारदार कितना व्यथित हो सकता है कहने की आवश्यकता नहीं..
      पसंद करने के लिए शुक्रिया, राजीव!

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  4. "अस्पताल में एक रात" संवेदनहीनता में डूबी एवं मानवीय वेदना को महसूस कराती आपकी सुंदर भावपूर्ण कविता अमित जी।

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    1. मैं किसी व्यवसाय-विशेष की आलोचना नहीं करना चाहता लेकिन मैंने महसूस किया कि लगातार रोग, मृत्यु, उपकरणों और कृत्रिम साधनों के सान्निध्य में रहने के कारण (? शायद, पक्का पता नहीं) और इन सभी चीज़ों का पैसों से प्रत्यक्ष सम्बन्ध देखते रहने की वजह से भी, अस्पतालों में काम करने वाले विभिन्न श्रेणियों के कर्मचारी बहुधा संवेदनहीन होते हैं.. हो सकता है उनकी मजबूरी ही हो ऐसा होना:(:(
      आपने कविता के मर्म को समझा, राकेश, मैं कृतज्ञ हूँ..धन्यवाद!

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  5. Does the sight of pain affect different people differently? Do doctors and nurses respond to the dire sights they see everyday in ways that reflect their sensitivity? Do they get immune or do they find ways to counter the horror from paralyzing their will to act....? A poem that makes you think despite the satirical edge....

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    1. Wow..a startling fresh viewpoint!
      That they 'find ways to counter the horror from paralyzing their will to act' is definitely a possible probability..(even if subconscious)
      Thank you Sunaina for this food for thought:)

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  6. दोनों(मरीज़ और प्रेमी जोड़ा) दिल से बेबस है :) सर जी ;)

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    1. True;)
      Thank you Manisha for this lively comment to clear the burdensome heaviness:)

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  7. Ah, the agony and struggle of life. Who knew poetry on hospital can bring so many emotions?
    Ending is superb.

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    1. I'm writing somewhat harsh and hitting these days rather than delicate and docile..truly off the beat!
      So glad to see you comment here, Saru, after a long time:)
      It pleases me when you like my work:) Thank you:)

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  8. I have experienced this first hand Amit Ji and I can so totally relate to this poem..you portrayed it so well :)

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    1. Thank you Renu for your kind attestation, and liking my words too:)

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  9. Having spent several nights and days in hospitals over the years with ailing parents I can relate with the 'bhaav' of these verses. It is a very strange feeling, full of many conflicting thoughts and emotions - some related to our loved ones, some to humanity and life and suffering in general.

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    1. True! A sufferer can easily see the truth behind these lines:(
      Thank you Beloo for substantiating the 'bhaav' of my poem:)

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  10. The imagery in the last stanza is particularly arresting.

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    1. The imagery per se has gotten up to bid adieu with the end of the first stanza, that is why only its shadow is left in the second..and the third one is 100% realistic. I wish you were there to see it and believe it..people react differently in situations; my brother had a row with the couple 'in action' while I wrote this poem late in night.
      (I stayed in a hospital for 15 nights in Sept. when my mom had a massive heart attack)
      Thank you Tom sir for liking it in whatever way:)

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  11. Realistic portrayal of the hospital scene...

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    1. Thank you Rajeev for finding the portrayal realistic..it IS based on a real incident:)

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  12. Very nicely depicted the reality.

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    1. Thank you Rajesh for calling it a 'nice depiction' of a loathsome reality:) Glad you agree:)

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  13. Summation of different truth and presented very nicely.

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    1. Thank you Jyotirmoy for liking the presentation too:)

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  14. A true picture Amit ji --of cruel reality

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  15. This poem triggers so many emotions... beautifully written.

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  16. Very difficult to comment on this! Have spent many nights outside ICU in 2010 when my father suddenly took ill. By the grace of God and the hospital he recovered.

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    1. Glad to learn that Mridula:) May God bless him with long age and sound health:)

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  17. ये भी रंग है जिंदगी का और बड़ा वीभत्स रंग है ! बढ़िया कटाक्ष अमित जी

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    1. Theek kaha aapne Yogendra bhai:) Kavita pasand karne ke liye dhanyawaad:)

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  18. I felt repulsion,aversion, disturbance and angst. I attempted to understand, to unravel the psyche and then I opted for a defeated acceptance... about mundaneness of disease and death there, acceptance for a thing called routine.P perhaps it's the routine which makes them the way they are... A thought provoking piece. Liked the simile in the first stanza and yes the image culminated in the last! A disturbing and sharp image. Zindagi hone do....

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    1. That you felt repulsion, aversion, disturbance, angst and your defeated acceptance certify that I have portrayed these very feelings successfully, as I felt the same way that night:(
      Feeling the pain, disappointment and agony was one thing, and reproducing the same in a poem quite another..a reader experiencing what the writer went through is the greatest reward and award to the writer.
      I'm deeply obliged, Kokila, by your having worded what you felt, and I can't thank you enough for this favour! Grateful..!

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  19. मुझे आपकी कविता की हर पंक्ति बड़ी लाजवाब लगी । बहुत अच्छी अभिव्यक्ति है

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  20. aapko kavita pasand aai, mujhe bahut khushi hui! dhanywaad Rekha:)

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