काश मैं रिक्शावाला
होता
तो मेरी 'वन हण्ड्रेड
पर्सेंट बैंकर' बेटी
चमकदार कपड़ों में
अपने बॉस से कहती
"सर, ये मेरे
पापा हैं"..
अफ़सोस कि मैं
वो नहीं
... कुछ भी नहीं!
बेचारी बच्ची
क्या कहे?
*Dedicated to my daughters on Father’s Day(?)
(Image from Google)
आपकी इस प्रविष्टि् के लिंक की चर्चा कल बृहस्पतिवार (23-06-2016) को "संवत्सर गणना" (चर्चा अंक-2382) पर भी होगी।
ReplyDelete--
सूचना देने का उद्देश्य है कि यदि किसी रचनाकार की प्रविष्टि का लिंक किसी स्थान पर लगाया जाये तो उसकी सूचना देना व्यवस्थापक का नैतिक कर्तव्य होता है।
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चर्चा मंच पर पूरी पोस्ट नहीं दी जाती है बल्कि आपकी पोस्ट का लिंक या लिंक के साथ पोस्ट का महत्वपूर्ण अंश दिया जाता है।
जिससे कि पाठक उत्सुकता के साथ आपके ब्लॉग पर आपकी पूरी पोस्ट पढ़ने के लिए जाये।
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हार्दिक शुभकामनाओं के साथ
सादर...!
डॉ.रूपचन्द्र शास्त्री 'मयंक'
आदरणीय डॉ. शास्त्री,
Deleteअनेक धन्यवाद.. आभार!
Pithy portrayal of self pity!
ReplyDeleteWelcome Geetashree ma’am:) Long time..!
DeleteIn fact it is about a person who is ‘not somebody’, and is a tribute to all of them. It is certainly not about myself, and not out of pity in the least.
Interestingly, it doesn’t have to do anything with money or success either…
How will the daughter of a well known underworld don introduce him? Because in spite of his riches he is ‘nobody’. Similarly, how can a serial killer be introduced? Because in spite of his continuous success he is ‘nobody’. A yogi sitting in the Himalayas in meditation for long years, or an unknown environmentalist (who himself doesn’t know that he is one) planting/saving trees on the other end of the earth can also not be introduced in the traditional way, since they are ‘nobodies’. An unrecognized painter, singer or writer also falls in this category because in spite of inherited wealth and comforts they are ‘nobodies’.
The ‘nobody’ people can be from any walk of life irrespective of what they are involved in.
The rikshaw wallah has been used in my poem as a symbol of being ‘somebody’, which has nothing to do with respect or any such thing.
I knew that the concept of my poem was a bit far fetched, and foresaw that it would not be easily comprehensible to a casual reader, barring a few true connoisseurs like you. Hope my explanation helps.
Thanks a whole lot for your patronage and support.
Best regards..
Between father and daughter, a father doesn't have to be "somebody" for the daughter to be proud of .....or for an intro....
DeleteI understand and appreciate your feelings, and 95% agree with you too.
DeleteThanks again for your valued views:)
The only thing that a father can really give to a daughter is his values, beliefs and education. Everything is ephemeral.
DeleteOn 'Values and beliefs': I feel these cannot/should not be 'given'..these must be learnt through real life, and cultivated if one wants them to be authentic. The 'given' or 'taken' ones will be fake as those have not been experienced by the receiver. Sweetness or bitterness, light or dark can not be explained..one needs to experience them to know them. The belief oriented opinions are false.
DeleteOn Education: Yes, a child needs to be inspired, motivated and provided with opportunities for education.
Thank you Sabya sir for your valued input.Please pardon me if I say our exchange of views has gone slightly off tangent with reference to my poem here..
Every one has some value,whether others can discern it or not.
ReplyDeletePrecisely, THAT is the point!
DeleteThank you Indu ma'am for your exact interpretation:)
बहुत सुंदर और भावनात्मक.
ReplyDeleteजानकार ख़ुशी हुई कि आपको पसन्द आया. शब्दों में व्यक्त करने के लिए धन्यवाद, राजीव:)
Deletebahut sunder
ReplyDeletehttp://anoopsuriji.blogspot.in
Thank you Anoop:) Glad you liked:)
DeleteRead your long reply to Geetashree, happy that I read it before commenting :D But your daughters would protest if they read this.
ReplyDeleteYes, they might if they don't get to the core of my poem:(
DeleteThank you Mridula, for reading my explanation too:)
ऐसा क्या ? सबके साथ ऐसा जरूरी नही अमित जी
ReplyDeleteRight, Yogendra bhai:) Thank you:)
DeleteNot sure how right you are... but your argument in one of the above comments make some sense.
ReplyDeleteOh I'm glad that at least something has made sense in this fiasco:)
Delete(pun not intended):)
Thank you Indrani for your kind words:) and candid opinion:)
Too bad this father thinks he's nothing. He needs a reminder that he's still a father :)
ReplyDeleteThe man in question doesn't think he's nothing...it's only that in the eyes of the world (including his children) he is not 'something'...
DeleteThank you Hema:)
Hope we all lead a life of dignity & are proud of our identity.
ReplyDeleteBy the grace of God we all do so...but the question is what about the one who lives in oblivion and anonymity?
DeleteThank you Anita:)
Liked the punch. But then that is Aag's usual flair.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy that you saw it, Anupam:) Thanks tonz:)
DeleteI would've thanked you the same amount even if you didn't like it:)
The punch having been observed by a reader is what really matters...
Likes/dislikes, agreements/arguments are secondary.
Thanks a whole lot again, bro:):)
How could I have missed it Amitji?
DeleteIts delivery was too perfect to be missed. Just loved this one.
How could I have missed it Amitji?
DeleteIts delivery was too perfect to be missed. Just loved this one.
Very heartfelt & poignant! :')
ReplyDeleteThank you Maitreni:) Glad you liked:)
Deletethought provoking
ReplyDeleteGlad you found it so.
ReplyDeleteThank you IB:)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSatirical!
ReplyDeleteOne of those posts that make you do some thinking/ figuring out before you put down a comment. That could be a father who thinks he's not good enough or a daughter who thinks that or both, thinking that way.
I actually like the fact that you took the rickshawala for instance.
Glad you liked:) and also thought about:) Thank you Divya:)
DeleteThis time I don't agree with you Amit ji :) Whatever you are your daughter is proud of you.
ReplyDeleteHa ha:):D Glad that you don't agree, Ranjana:) In fact this is a fictional piece pertaining to a 'situation', it's not essentially on me..Thank you:)
Deletedeep rooted meaningful writing, nice
ReplyDeleteThanks a whole lot, bro:) Delighted..!
Deleteyour daughter's am sure are very very proud of you :)
ReplyDeleteThe protagonist here is the rikshawalla:) Thank you Shweta:)
Deleteअमित जी बहुत ही सुंदर रचना है आपकी। आप ऐसी ही सुंदर रचना
ReplyDeleteएक पिता की मर्म कथा !! यह भी पढ़ सकते हैं।
Thank you Prateek:) Will read soon:)
DeleteThis evokes so many emotions. Short of words here, sir.
ReplyDeleteI do understand this honest reaction and honour the same:)
DeleteThank you Saru:)
Is it based on a girl who got through a prestigious exam in India? Her father is an auto driver...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, quite intense...we all have our own value.
It is based on a popular TV ad., and is left open to readers' interpretations.
ReplyDeleteI gave my views in a detailed reply to Geetashree above..
Thank you for your view, Alok, and for finding my poem worth a thought:)
Glad that your latest post led me to this realistic poem..One can never fathom the attitude and perception of individuals in the different capacities they are in and also they are relative to situations and time and of course destiny! A very thought provoking poem in the fewest of lines!
ReplyDeleteYes, That's what it appeared to me when it was written..'thought provoking in the fewest of lines!'
DeleteAlthough it ran the risk of being considered obscure or may be even absurd, but I went ahead and published it with fond hopes..
Thanks a whole lot Sunita:)
This is intense for sure .. and totally understand.. a parent would always want to bve someone in their childs eye.. But the ways of the current world, some children sometimes lose the path and focus and do start to think that if there parent was Somebody..
ReplyDeletegrowing up I felt that way too.. IF my father had done this or that BUt when i grew up and started to understand then I knew that I AM WHAT I AM BECAUSE OF MY PARENTS..
and I also loved your full discription as a reply above..
Good one sir
Bikram's
Thank you Bikram sir for your understanding and appreciation:)
Deleteपापा ! शायद किसी बेटी के लिए दुनिया का सबसे खूबसूरत शब्द। बिटिया हमेशा पापा की लाड़ली होती है और वो पापा से ज्यादा नज़दीक होती है । और उनके लिए परियो के समान होती है ।
ReplyDeleteयदि आप अपने विचारों को नया आयाम देना चाहते है तो आप हिंदी के एक अन्य माध्यम http://shabd.in पर जा सकते है और अपने लेखो को एक मंच प्रदान कर सकते है ।
Dhanywaad! Jaldi hi aapka blog visit karunga..
Deleteहार्ट टचिंग पर ये सम्भव नहीं है कि क्योंकि बेटी का परिचय खुद पिता से ही बना हुआ है।
ReplyDeleteTrue! Thank you Harshita:)
DeleteYou touched a sensitive topic here - that of father and daughter. I read the poem as one where the father desires to rise up in the eyes of the daughter. It is 'his' perception that his daughter perhaps thinks of him as a failure. But I repeat, it is 'his' perception. It might be that the daughter has seen the worthless vanity of the world and might not want her dad to be hurt by it. It might be just as a father protects his daughter, here the daughter is shielding his father from the evil world. I am reading this poem as a daughter who saw her father as a role model. But having said that, it is not impossible for a daughter who has risen from humble background to feel a bit ashamed of her roots. It is not her father who is shaming her, but her poor background.
ReplyDeleteOh..some real deep thought there! Great analysis:) Thank you Sunaina:)
DeleteYour are the Universe for your daughters, Just ask them.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely yes! Thank you:)
DeleteAmit कोई भी perfect नहीं होता और सब में अपना एक best होता है। है ना?
ReplyDeleteHaan ji, aisa hi hai:) Thank you Manisha:)
Delete